Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

You can’t buy love. But you pay heavily for it.

Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

Tamil Jokes:

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Come – palakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn’t See Me..

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready….Steady….. PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamani Rangarajan.

Gujju Jokes:

Why does the Gujju go to London ?
To see his Big Ben (Elder sister).

Why did the visitor to the Gujju’s home run away
when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said “he would serve snakes with tea”.

What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass.

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said ‘Sue kare chhe.’

What did the Gujju! mean when he said,” Maro dikro
STATES ma gayon?”
His son failed in statistics.

Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.

Which programs do gujjus couples love to watch on TV?
Be-watch
(Baywatch, Be in gujju is 2)

What do you call a knee less gujju ?
Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)

Bengali Jokes:

An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee.

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu.

Bengali who works?
A work of fiction.

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu.

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding

A mad Bengali?
In Sen.

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha.

A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli

Sindhi Jokes:

Why are a Sindhis nostrils big?
Because air is free.

What do you call a god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani.

A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani.

A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja.

A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani.

A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja.

A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani.

A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani.

A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani.

A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rin-dani.

A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani.

A communist Sindhi?
Karl Lal-wani.

A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani or Primlani.

A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani.

A forgetful Sindhi?
Bhulo Bhulchandani.

A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani

A downtrodden Sindhi?
Nichani.

A corrupt Sindhi?
Chaipani.

A Sindhi fly?
Makhija.

A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor?
Thad-ani.

A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor?
Kriplani.

A Sindhi who falls from the 25th floor?
Mar-jani.

Malayalee Jokes:

What do you call an amazing Malayalee?
Pheno Menon.

What do you call a dashing Malayalee?
Debo Nair.

Why did the Malayalee cross the road?

To join the trade union on the other side

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

[5] A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

[8] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25] It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

The first little girl said: “My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman.”

The next child, a little boy said: “I’m Andy and my Dad is a mechanic.”

And so it went until one little boy said: “My name is Johnny and my father is a striptease artist in a gay club.”

The teacher gasped and quickly changed the subject. Later, in the school yard, the teacher

approached Little Johnny privately and asked if it was really true that his dad danced nude in a gay bar.

Little Johnny blushed and said, “No, he’s really a Business Development Director at Lehmaan Brothers, but I’m just too embarrassed to tell anyone.”

Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don’t you do that?
Husband: How can I? I don’t even know her.

Santa: If I die, will you remarry?
Jeeto: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Santa: No, I’ll also stay with your sister.


Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!”
Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then did you invite the friend?
Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Man:  I want divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that  are hard to  get!

Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, “Order, order.”
The drunkard immediately responded, “Thank you, your honor, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can’t you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can’t.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
“Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!”
“That’s great, Sweetheart,” said her daddy.
“Come in to the living room and tell me about it.”
“Well,” began the confession, “I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math’s and 20 in science.”

Customer : Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.

Waiter : I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg.
Customer : Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
‘My trouble is,’ he said, ‘that I keep forgetting things.’
‘How long has this been going on?’ asked the psychiatrist.
‘ How long has what been going on?’ said the man..

Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won’t.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It’s addressed to Mumbai.

Santa : People consider me as a “GOD”
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U
have came again..

Santa complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV
in my house.
Police : How the thief did not take TV???
Santa: I was watching TV na..

Thought for the Day!!!
If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother’s younger
sis and elder sis?
Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM

Tihar Jail ordered 999 Shirts and 1000 Pants for its inmates.
Tell why this odd combination?
Answer : Because SALMAN KHAN is coming and He hardly wear SHIRTs!!!

Do you know the similarity between “Dinosaurs” & “Decent Girls”
Answer: Both don’t exist on earth !!!

When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !!

Whats the height of Intelligence?
Answer : A 99 year old Santa going for HUTCH ka naya lifetime scheme

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It’s the Thought, Because thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa’s reply, asked) “WHY”?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

“I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes in the Class” 500 times on the black board.

And what the student wrote is really cool..

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that,

I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.

Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo – HR Manager