1. Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs:
Something like cricket where
one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage:
It’s an agreement in which a man
loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through “the minds of either”.

5. Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

6. Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

7. Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water-power…

8. Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens & everybody disagrees later on.

9 . Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
feeling you have never felt before.

10. Classic:
Books which people praise, but do not read.

11. Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

12. Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

13. Yawn:
The only time some married men ever
get to open their mouth.

14. Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.

15. Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

16. Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.

17. Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.

18. Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.

19. Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says
in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

20. Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in
ZERO, instead of the first letter in word
OPPORTUNITY.

21. Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

22. Father:
A banker provided by nature.

23 . Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest… except that
he got caught.

24. Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.

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